HOW TO CLEAN YOUR EARS: Upcoming shows in the citaaaay

Portugal. The Man July 3 FREE

The Beach @Governors Island

I’ve seen this band several times and they never fail to give an awe inspiring show. If you don’t feel compelled to rock out during said performance you’re either 1) my 60+ yr old parents; 2) have taken too much xanax and must report home immediately; or 3) do not enjoy classic funk soul smacking rock music. Otherwise, I really think you’ll dig it.

PS1 Warm Up Party July 3^rd

There is a particular musician that I want to take in at the Warm Up party and she is Glasser. Her song "Apply" from the EP made me want to dance around a bonfire Native American style and take roots prescribed by the medicine man- all in slowed time. Check it.
There is sound in my mind, keeps me up all night-Glasser 

Brian Eno Predicts the Future-Again.

Through a fault of our designing We are lost among the windings of these Metal Ways. Back to silence back to minus with the purple sky behind us In these metal ways. Nobody hears us when we’re alone in the blue future. No one receiving the radio’s splintered ways. In these metal ways, in these metal days.

The Black Angels

Light some incense and a bunch of votive candles placed inside red glass, cast some spells, dance around naked banshee psychedelic style and have a séance for Jim Morrison. If you don’t have the fortitude for this type of witchy evening, then I suggest listening to The Black Angles album Passover-it’s like that, and *that* is really good. 

Artists need to come out of the social media closet. Vol I: Facebook

Let’s face it, most creatives suck at marketing themselves. It continues to shock me when I meet a band/musician and tell them that I’ll fan them (now “Like” them) on Facebook and they respond, “Oh, we don’t have a Facebook..we have a MySpace though.” Ok, sure, I always go to a band’s MySpace before I buy an album or a concert ticket. MySpace is highly useful for this purpose and every musician/band needs a page; but most people don’t have a MySpace account and I know I’m not finding bands via immaculate music conception- I need to know you exist.

That said, your band’s future and present fans are not on MySpace, they’re on Facebook, as are their friends, and their friends friends, so on and so forth in social media perpetuity.

Now you have a presence on the network with 400 millions accounts. What do you say or are you saying? Just posting upcoming show dates gives your band zero personality. You're musicians for christ sakes, you’ve given up the traditional life to play instruments and scream your souls into microphones for strangers. Don’t act like single celled amoebas online. Here are some fanpage tips for artists:

--Ask your friends to “like” your page and suggest your page to their friends.

This is how you build a fan base. All it takes it 25 fans to get a URL (ex: www.facebook.com/yourband). Every band, no matter how unknown to the public at large, has at least one fan salivating to help you. (Think Mel from Flight of the Concords). Just ask them!

-Speak your minds! Brain vomit can be highly entertaining, have at it.

-More dialogue, less monologue. Respond to fan posts worthy of a response. Ask fans questions, ANSWER them. ENGAGE.

-Post live videos (and if you’re fortunate enough, the professional ones too)

- Post song lyrics in “Notes”. I would love to have lyrics accessible on a fanpage! Then I wouldn’t have to endure websites with all the flashing aneurism producing advertisements. Those websites are assholes.

-Add to your pages favorites bands/musicians pages that have influenced your own music. Do the same for music venues you’ve had shows or would like play in the future. It’s simple: find the venue though Facebook’s search.  Select “add to my page’s favorites”. Done

- Clearly, any external links (band website/myspace/youtube) should be in your info section.

-When you have an upcoming show, tag the venue in your post.

Tagging is done by using the @ symbol then begin typing the name of the venue. It should immediately appear as an option to select. What does this do? By tagging the venue in your post, it shows up on that venues wall, as such, your show is now advertised to all the fans of that venue. (Example “Listen up sexy motherfu#$%$, on 6/10 we’re playing a show at the Bowery Ballroom….) will post on the Bowery Ballroom’s wall as well. This is free advertising, USE IT. Note: you must add the venue’s page to your page’s favorites in order to tag it.

 Conclusion: Get over it, get a Facebook Fanpage and start marketing yourselves. Or if you already have one, start using it effectively. I’ll write posts on other social media platforms in the near future.

UPDATE: I met the Growlers after their AMAZING show. I asked, among other queries, who's running your facebook fanpage? Response: "I have no idea, haven't even seen it, we have a MySpace though.." Nuff' said. 

Dear Facebook, you asked What’s On My Mind? I’ll tell you: WHY ARE NONE OF MY FU@#KING POSTS SHOWING UP IN THE NEWS FEED?!

Wondering why none your Facebook posts that include links/pictures/videos are showing up in the News Feed?

In May, Facebook came out with their new and “improved” privacy settings. I have my settings set to Friends Only, meaning anything I want to share (videos, pictures, articles) can show up in my friends news feed because I want them to check it out. I’ve already read the freakin article, I’m not selecting share so I can bask in the glow of how interesting my profile page is turning out. Seems reasonable, no?

So I began to wonder, why is my mother, (who is on Facebook solely to stalk me), the only person commenting on or liking my posts? Not to toot my own virtual horn, but I don’t engage in what I call “Iceberg Lettuce” Facebook updates; those with absolutely zero nutritional value, a la, I’m going to the gym; or those clearly passive aggressive updates intended for one person, my personal favorites, Some people are so disappointing..Oh well :(. 

I try to keep it interesting, and have previously received a decent amount of Feedback.

So what happened? Did the News Feed turn into the Bermuda Triangle? Is Facebook punishing me for talking all that shit about them during the privacy wars of 2010? (Which are still ongoing btw, I’m not done with you yet Zuckerberg!)

I asked all my friends, they said they haven’t seen a post from me in a while. Hmm. I launch an extensive investigation. This is what I’ve figured out:

Go to Accounts-->Applications-->Edit Links Settings-->Additional Permissions-->check box that says Applications may post to my wall. Do the same for pictures and videos as well.

This was never necessary before and makes absolutely no sense, but it’s the only way to avoid a masturbatory existence on this “social” network.

Clown Shoes. 

Is Social Media turning you into a Douchebag?

I use social media personally and to promote my nonprofit, but I’m mindful not to put documentation above experience. When we’re out having drinks/at dinner, can I finish a fucking story (or better yet, can you finish yours?!) before being interrupted with “wait, that’s really funny can I tweet that?” Or, “I really want to hear this, but can you take a picture of me first..I’m want to update my Facebook status?” Or, “hold on, I need to check in here?”

This is pure colloquium interruptus, which is latin for “I’m being a total douchebag who can’t be present.”

Now, if you’re accompanied by fellow SMD’s (social media douchebags), remember the 1980’s anti-drug commercial where, after being admonished by his father for doing drugs, the little boy responds “I learned it from watching you!”


It’s rude. I love you. Stop.


Note: This post is not for the novice social media user, it's for the socialmeadialites, the twitter ninjas, and the Facebook freaks.

If you were tweeting during the Thom Yorke/Atoms for Peace concert you just didn’t “get it.”

There is a time and a place for social media and it was NOT during the cochlear magic that was Atoms for Peace. Mid-way into that show I didn’t even know what a cell phone was, moreover had the ability to update my twitter status. Yet I had to endure the annoyingly bright screen in the hands of this clown shoe next to me who’s updating her twitter status and taking pictures nonstop. That show was the stuff of legend, and you fucking missed it.

*I wrote this on April 7th, pre-entering the blogosphere.